And
it came to pass that I did travel many hours to the land of Guatemala, that I
might teach the people to more fully understand the gospel. And also many other
gringos did go up with me unto the land of the Central Americans. And we did
rejoice much, that we might have the privilege to be in the service of our
fellow man. And when we did arrive thither, the leader of the missionaries in
the land did address us, that we might more easily make ourselves accustomed to
the things which the people did do, and did eat.
And
the first thing he did tell unto us was concerning the juice. And he did say
unto us that we mayest freely drink of all of the juice, but of el jugo de
muerte, (local juice?) thou mayest not eat. But it is given that you
may choose for yourself whether you should drink there of. But remember, in the
day thou drinkest thereof, thou shalt surly suffer much affliction in the
bathroom, and die.
And
like wise he did say unto us, wherefore, the Latinos find great pleasure in
giving of el snagre de Diablo (mega hot sauce?) unto us the gringos, but
thou ought to remember in thine heart that he who partaketh of el sangre de Diablo,
which is to mean the blood of Satan, shall be harrowed up with much
afflictions, and it shall seem as if his very soul doth burn as if in the
endless torment of the fire and brimstone.
Nevertheless,
I did partake of el snagre de Diablo, and I did suffer much for want of ice cream,
but there was none in the land, save it be immediately after either lunch or
dinner. And I sorely afflicted, even with a curse upon my tongue, insomuch that
I was brought to a remembrance of the words of the mission president, and I did
choose in that day not to partake of el jugo de muerte, for such it was called
by my people, the Nortes.
And
my companion and I, having been taught somewhat concerning the Spanish language
did go forth, and did cry repentance boldly unto one of these the native
people. And we did labor much. Even a hard labor, that we might bring souls
unto Jesus Christo and unto baptism.
And
there was one among the people of Guatemala that did hearken unto our words, and
did commit to become baptized. And she was called Alejandra. For she did speak
even after our own tongue, therefore we did teach her in both our languages,
and she did hearken unto the words which we spoke unto her. And thus we did
converse with her.
And
we did converse also with those Latinos which were with us in our rooms, that
we might come to a more full understanding of the language. And also we did
teach unto them many things concerning our own culture and language. And we did
teach unto many Latinos how they might utter the phrase "Do you even lift?" and many Latinos did go forth and ask
such to those Nortes which were not of our district, and we did rejoice much in
this.
And it came to pass that there were among the
Nortes that were not of our district that did curse us because we had done
this thing, and also that we had taught unto our brethren, the Latinos,
how they might sing the song “Trolololo”,
which might be found on YouTube or by asking mine brother Jared. And the Latinos
did sing this during all the day, and especially so in the shower, even
insomuch that many Nortes did curse us and did speak unto us saying: "What
is this thing thou hast done?" for they were sorely afflicted by the few
phrases we had taught unto our brethren.
And
thus I make and end of my speakings, and I do desire that I might receive many
letters concerning the events of my homeland and of my family, for I have a
sore want for the things of my home.
And
I must now go up to the classroom everlasting, that I might spend eternity in a
classroom learning all the day long. And it doth bore me much, and I look
forward with much want to the day in which I might leave the gates of the CCM
and wander upon the city.
And
I do write these things that thou mayest know that it is desirable that men
might serve a mission, and much joy can come of it. Amen.
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